• Eloise Unerman

Are We There Yet?

So, there was something I really wanted - needed, actually - to talk about.

I might've mentioned before that I spent a not-insignificant time away from writing because of my mental health. And I'm still recovering from that. I'm trying to open myself up again, to find where writing belongs now that everything inside my brain's been rearranged. I just wanted to share a little of what's happening.

I got a new phone shortly before lockdown kicked in in March, and I downloaded a bunch of new apps. What that mostly meant was discovering the sleep soundscapes from Headspace and being converted into a fitness zombie by 'Zombies, Run!'.

I was redownloading old apps too and Werdsmith was one of them. I was never one for writing every day, just because I didn't want to. I didn't enjoy it. But, after spending months not wanting to put pen to paper, I decided to put finger to keyboard instead. And I wrote a poem every day.

That only lasted about a week, but it set something in motion.

Getting a new phone helped me recover in lots of little ways. I'm proud of how far I've walked, how I've taken to meditation, the fact that I'm learning Hebrew and Mandarin. These weren't things the old me needed, but they're what I need now.

When I started writing professionally, things moved very fast. I knew exactly what I needed to do next. I knew that, no matter what, I could rely on myself to write. In comparison, finding that momentum again is incredibly slow. But getting frustrated, feeling disappointed, doesn't encourage it to come out of hiding. So baby steps it is.

It started with writing once a day. In fact, no, it started with writing script for the first time in my life so I could apply for a games writing apprenticeship. And then learning how to write narratives for games.

But, as I was saying before I rudely interrupted, it started with once a day. And then not at all.

Then I made writing resources (and totally sucked at sticking to a proper update schedule - sorry to anyone who follows me on Twitter).